wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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