I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
