To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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