Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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