you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
