yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
