So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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