Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
