She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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