I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
