Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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