oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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