Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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