I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
