So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
