Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
