I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
