look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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