Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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