i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
