i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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