You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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