so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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