Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
