The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
