on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
