Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
