"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
