I just cut my nipple shaving
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
