called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
