My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
