Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
