Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Every concussion has its silver lining
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
my liver is dry heaving
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
