woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
