If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
