ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
