you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
