how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
