I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
