Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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