Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
