Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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