Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
