Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
