Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
