I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
