don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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