I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
