Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
