she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
